Female millionaire, 84, engaged to 24-year-old guy: a headline you’ll never see

A lot of folks are weirded out by Hugh Hefner's engagement to a 24-year-old Playmate — and, yes, ewww — but can you imagine the total freak-out if the genders were reversed?

There's the obvious point about men being able to reproduce in their 80s (albeit with frayed sperm and a whole gallon jug of little blue pills) while woman can't. But if marriage were defined by how likely you are to have functional offspring, the British royal family would have been strapped with chastity belts long ago.

So this really is a magnificent double standard.

I think Hefner is only marrying her because he's still waiting for his dream girl to be born.