Which Republican is least likely to get one of the new full-face transplants?
Karl Rove, because he's already using several
75   36.1%
Ken Mehlman, because he'll never look straight in the mirror anyway
73   35.1%
John Bolton, because no other human face turns that shade of red
39   18.8%
Mike Brown, because his current face is already doing a heckuva job
21   10.1%

But why is NASA rushing the shuttle Discovery to launch despite its own experts' warnings about a "relatively high" risk of catastrophe?

Take the poll.

Now that conjoined twins have been split, what impossibly-bound objects are next?
Joe Lieberman's lips from George W. Bush's... um... policies
169   72.5%
The Bush family and Rev. Sun Myung Moon
34   14.6%
Patrick Fitzgerald from Dick Cheney's future
18   7.7%
The Dow Jones Industrial Average from its level when Bush took office
12   5.2%

(For those who are curious about the Rev. Moon reference, just click on the link for more.)

Now that full-face transplants are becoming possible, I'm wondering about who's a good candidate — and who's not.  Take the poll.

What will Ann Coulter's next book accuse liberals of being?
Plagiarists Long Past Self-Parody
277   45.2%
Chain-Smoking Harpies Incapable of Long-Term Relationships
194   31.6%
Illegal Voters Who Even Lie About Their Age
102   16.6%
Skinny Blondes
40   6.5%

Now that doctors have figured out how to separate those conjoined twins, what impossibly-bound objects will scientists take on separating next?  Take the new poll.

I'm reluctant to give this woman even an ounce of attention, but Ann Coulter's latest book title really does strike me as the completion of a rather brilliant three-volume performance cycle exploring psychological projection, a deconstruction of poltical punditry brilliantly conceived to examine the limits of self-loathing.

The irony of Coulter authoring a volume called Slander was amazing enough as it was, although it seemed a bit obvious, the work of an artist still learning her craft.  Then Treason, coming from a supporter of an administration which leaked Valerie Plame's identity, doing grave damage to our intelligence on WMD proliferation in the Middle East, seemed like a promising step forward.

But now comes Godless, written by a woman who not only does not attend the church she claims to, but whose entire income depends on publicly breaking at least three of the Ten Commandments — #9: Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness (so much for generating publicity with wild claims about the 9-11 widows); #4: Remember the Sabbath (so much for plugging her book on Sunday morning talk shows); and #8: Thou Shalt Not Steal (numerous snippets of Coulter's books are lifted almost word-for-word from other uncredited sources) — as often as possible.

This can only be described as museum-quality.

Incidentally, this leaves aside her support of policies which have knowingly resulted in tens of thousands of civilian casualties, which seems to bump on #6, Thou Shalt Not Kill; and her advocacy of an unrestrained capitalism built on greed, which seems to be a clear breach of #10, Thou Shalt Not Covet.  Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, if we assume that the trash-mouthed Ms. Coulter never swears, and this never-married chick in a short leather skirt has reached the age of 45 without ever having sex, then we can let her skate on commandments #3 and #7.  But the most likely — and fairly obvious, I should add — reality is the author of Godless probably obeys somewhere between three and five on the Ten Commandments herself.

Clearly, this is some kind of performance art.

So what will this likely MacArthur Fellow of self-hatred accuse liberals of being next?  New poll at left.

PS — since the creature thrives on attention, this will be the last time she will ever be mentioned on this site.  I feel the need to wash as it is.