BobHarris.com - The Apple iPhone: Unanswered Questions

Books! Actual books!

"A rollicking ride of intellectual discovery and emotional growth... his comic timing never fails"

-- The Wall Street Journal

"Pulls you in like a good sports story"

-- The New York Times Book Review

"Endearingly frank... jubilant... lighthearted and fast-paced"

-- New York Newsday

"A surprisingly touching memoir"

-- Entertainment Weekly

"Snappy and informative"

-- Associated Press

"Effortlessly funny and informative... tender, human, and very wise... A must for anyone who loves Jeopardy!, or has ever seen it, or is breathing."

-- Joss Whedon, creator, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"I haven't seen Jeopardy! since I was a kid, and yet I was charmed and amused by Bob Harris's fascinating and surprisingly suspenseful book. Through sheer force of personality, he takes this brainy TV show and makes it funny and easy to relate to."

-- Ira Glass, creator and host, This American Life

"A surprisingly intimate, entertaining book."

-- Orson Scott Card, 4-time Hugo Award winner, author of Ender's Game

"Funny, enlightening -- and just might help you win a million bucks on Jeopardy!"

-- A. J. Jacobs, author of The Know-It-All

"A masterful job of describing the feel of Jeopardy! in the heat of battle... I knew Bob was a great guy and a fantastic Jeopardy! player. Now I've found that he's also a wonderful writer. I think I'm starting to hate him."

-- Brad Rutter, top money-winner in Jeopardy! history

Books I'm Getting

Who Hates Whom:
Well-Armed Fanatics, Intractable Conflicts,
and Various Things Blowing Up —
A Woefully Incomplete Guide™

“Revelatory... Harris's sly wit and infectious curiosity make understanding world chaos fascinating... witty, horrific, and necessary.”

— Boston Globe

"Brave... irreverent... charges into the thick of the globe's myriad simmering wars... hilariously relaxed."

— New York Observer

"Only Bob could make a user’s guide to our increasingly hostile world this absorbing, this breezy, and—ultimately—this hopeful.”

— Ken Jennings, author of Brainiac: Adventures in the Curious, Competitive, Compulsive World of Trivia Buffs

“Fascinating, enlightening, and surprisingly: NOT TOTALLY DEPRESSING. A gimlet-eyed look at the world we endure that’s also suitable for enjoying with a gimlet.”

— John Hodgman, author of The Areas of My Expertise
and correspondent for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

"All three [presidential] candidates should read all three of these [recommended] books, but McCain gets first crack at Bob Harris's "Who Hates Whom“... a lighthearted overview of the insurrections and civil wars in the world today."

— Steven Pinker, author of The Stuff of Thought, in the New York Times Book Review

Main

Adbusters

The Apple iPhone: Unanswered Questions

Tag it now -

Wednesday, 10 January 2007

Full disclosure: I own a few Apple shares. But I’ve been reading some of the Yahoo message boards ever since the iPhone was announced. And I have to agree: it’s time we cut through the hype and get to the sort of things the serious investors on the Yahoo message boards need to know.

If two or more users touch their iPhones together, will it mulitply their powers?

• How badly will the iPhone’s touch-sensitive screen smudge? Because I am pretty greasy.

• Will the iPhone be able to synch wirelessly with my computer or another iPhone? If two or more users touch our iPhones together, will it multiply our powers?

• Where can I buy powers? Please, please sell powers as an add-on.

• I heard Steve Jobs’s iPhone includes a Taser. What about the rest of us – do we get Tasers, too? The cellphone/Taser would be a killer app.

• How will my greasy hands affect Taser performance? Because I am pretty greasy.

• How many iPhones would it take to repel a wild baboon? I had a bad experience with a baboon.

• If I don’t like Cingular’s service, will the iPhone have a self-destruct sequence, like the Enterprise? How far away do I have to run?

• The proximity sensor that turns the touchscreen off when you bring the iPhone near your head to talk – what about a user who doesn’t have a head?

• There’s nowhere for me to plug in my Zip drive.

• The battery is listed at 5 hours talk and 16 hours audio. How long will the battery last when repelling baboons?

• Hey, maybe I can download powers through iTunes.

• If I’m Tasering baboons with the iPhone, and a call comes in, is there a speakerphone?

• The touchscreen – does that only work with fingers, or any body part? Because I download a lot of porn.

• The built-in camera seems only to work in the visible light spectrum. Come on, Apple. Think of the user experience.

• I hear Microsoft is working on a cellphone with X-Ray Spex built in.

• The built-in Google Maps – will that help me see baboons as they gather?

• If I’m downloading porn and I rotate the phone into landscape mode, the iPod video thing won’t kick in, will it? Because if I’m looking at porn and suddenly there’s Dwight from The Office, I am definitely using the self-destruct.