BobHarris.com - The Internet We Stand As One

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-- The Wall Street Journal

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-- The New York Times Book Review

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-- New York Newsday

"A surprisingly touching memoir"

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-- Joss Whedon, creator, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"I haven't seen Jeopardy! since I was a kid, and yet I was charmed and amused by Bob Harris's fascinating and surprisingly suspenseful book. Through sheer force of personality, he takes this brainy TV show and makes it funny and easy to relate to."

-- Ira Glass, creator and host, This American Life

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-- Orson Scott Card, 4-time Hugo Award winner, author of Ender's Game

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-- A. J. Jacobs, author of The Know-It-All

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-- Brad Rutter, top money-winner in Jeopardy! history

Books I'm Getting

Who Hates Whom:
Well-Armed Fanatics, Intractable Conflicts,
and Various Things Blowing Up —
A Woefully Incomplete Guide™

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— Boston Globe

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— New York Observer

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— Ken Jennings, author of Brainiac: Adventures in the Curious, Competitive, Compulsive World of Trivia Buffs

“Fascinating, enlightening, and surprisingly: NOT TOTALLY DEPRESSING. A gimlet-eyed look at the world we endure that’s also suitable for enjoying with a gimlet.”

— John Hodgman, author of The Areas of My Expertise
and correspondent for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

"All three [presidential] candidates should read all three of these [recommended] books, but McCain gets first crack at Bob Harris's "Who Hates Whom“... a lighthearted overview of the insurrections and civil wars in the world today."

— Steven Pinker, author of The Stuff of Thought, in the New York Times Book Review

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Thursday, 14 April 2005

... apparently, in the soul-enveloping dread invoked by The Single Greatest Music Video Ever Made. Just Google the title. It's all pretty breathtaking.

I'm almost starting to feel bad for the guy, who has been mocked mercilessly for what was apparently a completely sincere effort. I mean, how would you feel? Years after making this obscure little power-ditty for charity in the wake of 9/11 (and remember, a lot of folks had their brains scrambled by all that), his total web traffic apparently doubles in just two weeks -- and almost all of it from people who think he's suddenly a poster boy for everything crass in American culture.

Man. That must suck.

Granted, the video has perfectly captured the wide-eyed innocent empty screaming averageness Christopher Guest and friends have built entire careers out of simulating. There's no getting around that. Rarely has such a perfect item ever been created. You can almost imagine people holding midnight showings and acting out the parts in costume.

But y'know what? I'm sure every single person involved in AmWeMuCaOn loves this country at least as much as me or anyone reading this site. And I wish that all the mocking of the product didn't inadvertently belittle that. It really shouldn't.

Is there the slightest whiff in that whole four-minute masterwork that our hero doesn't genuinely love the country he keeps hollering about, right to the very fringes of his skill set?

Hell, no. That's part of what's so damn outstanding about it.

And this isn't Chimpy here, obscenely using an entire aircraft carrier as a poltical prop, proclaiming Mission Accomplished in a war he still has no clue how to end. This ain't John Ashcroft or Tom Ridge, decorating themselves in our flag the way Buffalo Bill wore triangular swatches of Frederica Bimmel, all while implying that dissent is damn near synonymous with treason.

This is the freakin' stunt guy for an off-network TV show raising money for fire widows by getting Lyta from Babylon 5 to weep in a Los Angeles pet cemetery, for crying out loud, because he loves this country, dang, and that's the best he can goddam come up with right now.

Say what you will about the music, but how can one not respect that?

Seriously.

Besides, there's a little bit of hey-I-once-pole-vaulted-thirteen-feet in all of us.

So I hereby look away from the wondrous holy light bathing our boy in the cover art. I avert my eyes from the strategic thigh bandana. I try hard not to notice the Odd Capitalization of certain Nouns and other Significant Phrases which inexplicably Punctuate the Entire Website. And I want to buy the guy a beer and tell him I admire the effort. Honestly. He's trying. God and Allah love him, he's trying.

I'm glad to call him a fellow American.

I've started to think it's pretty cool, actually. Red-white-and-blue water, for God's sake. Whoever thought that up deserves a free pizza or something.

But notice I used the word "almost" regarding any regrets. Because just when I'm almost ready to Walk Toward The Light... it turns out the parody, which was hysterical, is no longer online. Not hard to guess why. And the home page of this three-chord Patriot Act now contains this bizarre disclaimer:

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY IMITATIONS!

Which sadly couldn't miss the point more.

Too bad. If the guy could just ride this out, take the joke, and let people remix away... geez, in six months, he'd be loved by millions. Even people who can't stand the song would adore a guy who not only loves the country but is able to laugh even at his own expense.

We almost had ourselves the William Hung of patriotism.

It's just sad, really. But we reap what we glurge. I'm almost depressed about the whole thing.

But we must Carry On.