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Main  Buzzflash
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Warning: people in mirror may be closer than they appear |
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Friday, 15 July 2005 |
As you might imagine, Heathrow was justifiably on
double-plus-extra-freakout alert during my trip home. Extra
passport-control checkpoints. Steel-eyed men roving the international
concourse, fully equipped with automatic weapons, earpieces, and
menacing glares.
The little sandwich nook I was situated in got the full going-over twice an hour.
This made me feel both safer and unsafer as a result.
Incidentally, should you find yourself in a similar place, here's a tip
that worked for me: when ordering a bagel, resist the urge to order an
ALLAHU AKBAR! with extra tomato.
Probably the only reason I'm still alive.
After several hours of growing paranoia, I finally got on the plane and
found my seat flanked by several Pakistani Muslim men, by whom I would
be surrounded at 37,000 feet, right next to the easy-pull exit-row
door, for the next half a day or so.
Interesting moment.
You know how conscious I am of how important it is to fight against
prejudice. Nonetheless... there was a funny little twitch in my spine
right then.
Not blaming myself. All of our optic nerves have been whacked by a
constant stream of visuals of swarthy evildoers for almost four years
now, so despite the clear knowledge that there are about 160,000,000
Pakistanis who would more likely bottle-feed a baby pudu than go all
Richard Reed on us (in fact, I was probably much safer right that very
moment than I will be walking around my own neighborhood tonight)...
still, a moment of twitch.
This was exactly like reacting to a post-hypnotic suggestion. Which, of course, is precisely what it was.
So I said hi and introduced myself, and within seconds I was getting
to know a very friendly biochemist named Shakeel (but not O'Neal) who now lives in Alberta. We spent
an hour or so trading our opinions of various bits of North America
and South Asia worth visiting, and then the movie started, and we both watched Clint Eastwood
teaching Hilary Swank how to succeed in life by beating the crap out of
strangers for money.
(My, what a peaceful culture we do live in.)
However, shortly before takeoff, while Shakeel and I were joking about
something or other, one of the flight attendants strapped herself into
a folding jumpseat nearby. Her face, the instant she glanced in our direction: the exact
same involuntary post-hypnotic twitch I'd had just moments before. But
more: because Shakeel and I were laughing together now, I could see her
taking a few seconds to scrutinize me as well.
Another interesting moment.
Which, naturally, I didn't much like for a second. Even though I had just done the exact same goddam thing.
I have no insight here. Just make of it what you will.
It takes so little for us to decide like each other. Or dislike each other.
Amazing, really.
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Loan a Few Bucks, Change a Few Lives
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