I've been straight my whole life, but the Senate was unable to muster enough votes to "defend" heterosexual marriage.

    Obviously, if heterosexual marriage needs to be defended, and now the effort has failed, heterosexual relationships are now profoundly endangered.  We straights are helpless — helpless! — to preserve our own relationships and orientation.

    So, I will be expecting the gay sex to arrive at the door sometime later today, and for all of my family and personal relationships to begin changing.

    You should do the same.

    I just wish I knew what to wear.

    Maybe FEMA will start handing out some kind of kit.