Are you the Bob Harris who (choose at least one)…?
(a) makes delicious buttery spreads
(b) posts JFK conspiracy theories on YouTube and Internet forums
(d) was played by Bill Murray in Lost In Translation
(e) played bass for Frank Zappa
(f) runs the Decorative Concrete Institute
(g) sought a Colombian wife in Renault car commercials
(h) ministers to the spiritual needs of rodeo clowns
(i) wrote Fatherland
(j) is an expert on mushrooms and flying kites
(k) pitched for the St. Louis Browns in 1939
(l) died skydiving while filming a Mountain Dew ad
(m) does play-by-play for the Duke Blue Devils
(n) etc., etc., etc.
Sadly, I have neither Colombian brides nor buttery spreads.
Despite what one may read in news stories written by people too dim to guess that "Bob Harris" is a common name and too lazy to work the Google, the correct answer is (z), none of the above.
We realize that you choose from a variety of Bob Harrises in your surfing day. Thank you for your patronage.