Since I had to withhold the photographs of amorous pudus as a matter of executive privilege, here’s another spectacular ungulate to tide you over, courtesy my friend Chris who just got back from Kenya:

This is a Gerenuk, also known as a giraffe antelope, also known as a Dik-dik which not only cares about hair care and makeup but can also kick your freakin’ ass.

So when a gerenuk starts prattling on and on about how much nicer their butt looks since they’ve started going back to the gym, you pretty much wind up doing a lot of nodding and pretending you’re listening.

Do not mess with the Gerenuk.