I never thought 14-hour plane rides would start to feel almost normal. 
But there are a lot of things I never thought would happen.

I am back in Los Angeles.

Yesterday, to help my own mental transition, I went to an Aussie Rules
footy exhibition held at UCLA.  This is an actual conversation
(probably not quite verbatim; I didn’t have a notebook) I overheard
between two of my countrymen:

Ah.  So it’s agreed, then: if you haven’t personally heard "Advance Australia Fair," logically, it does not exist.

Don’t get me wrong; ignorance about the rest of the world (much less
the basics of logic) isn’t an American thing.  I met one woman in
Queensland who proudly told me she has no interest in the rest of
Australia, much less any other country.  It simply wasn’t important to
her, and she couldn’t see why it would be.  If I spoke the local
languages better, I could probably find people like that in all 30-odd
countries I’ve visited so far, if I looked.

But America is in the unique position of greater military and economic
influence over (even when not trying actively to control) the rest of
the world.  And so you’d think we’d realize we have a much greater
obligation to try to understand the planet and base our opinions on
actual facts, examined closely.

Instead, we can’t seem to bother to understand our own constitution.  I’m hearing even people I like,
mind you, people I care about and respect, repeating things that are
disreputable dangerous rubbish, convinced that their words are the
height of patriotism.  Yes, of course, the president has the power to interpret law.  Yes, of course, the president has the power to spy on anyone, anytime.  Yes, of course, the president has the right to kidnap and torture and imprison people without trial.

I am back in Los Angeles.  But I — and all of us — are a long, long way from home.

UPDATE: Read this MLK day speech by Al Gore.  I never liked the guy much when he was in office, but ever since his political future ended, he has gone Bulworth on us and said a lot of stuff that needed to be said.

I never thought 14-hour plane rides would start to feel almost normal. 
But there are a lot of things I never thought would happen.

I am back in Los Angeles.

Yesterday, to help my own mental transition, I went to an Aussie Rules
footy exhibition held at UCLA.  This is an actual conversation
(probably not quite verbatim; I didn’t have a notebook) I overheard
between two of my countrymen:

Ah.  So it’s agreed, then: if you haven’t personally heard "Advance Australia Fair," logically, it does not exist.

Don’t get me wrong; ignorance about the rest of the world (much less
the basics of logic) isn’t an American thing.  I met one woman in
Queensland who proudly told me she has no interest in the rest of
Australia, much less any other country.  It simply wasn’t important to
her, and she couldn’t see why it would be.  If I spoke the local
languages better, I could probably find people like that in all 30-odd
countries I’ve visited so far, if I looked.

But America is in the unique position of greater military and economic
influence over (even when not trying actively to control) the rest of
the world.  And so you’d think we’d realize we have a much greater
obligation to try to understand the planet and base our opinions on
actual facts, examined closely.

Instead, we can’t seem to bother to understand our own constitution.  I’m hearing even people I like,
mind you, people I care about and respect, repeating things that are
disreputable dangerous rubbish, convinced that their words are the
height of patriotism.  Yes, of course, the president has the power to interpret law.  Yes, of course, the president has the power to spy on anyone, anytime.  Yes, of course, the president has the right to kidnap and torture and imprison people without trial.

I am back in Los Angeles.  But I — and all of us — are a long, long way from home.

UPDATE: Read this MLK day speech by Al Gore.  I never liked the guy much when he was in office, but ever since his political future ended, he has gone Bulworth on us and said a lot of stuff that needed to be said.

Colin informs me that you might have noticed a little weirdness with the polls of late.

Damn, you can’t trust these Diebold machines.

He’s fixing everything, rest assured.  "Fixing"… hmm…

Please forgive the lack of bloggity goodness of late.  Been splitting my time evenly between too much work and too much fun.

Took a notebook out to the Sydney Cricket Ground today — imagine Wrigley Field, but older and rounder — working all day
while looking up every 25 seconds or so to watch a magnificent Day
5 of the third test against South Africa.  What I was lucky to see was only the greatest run-scoring chase
performance in the 130-year history of the building.  And the captain, Ricky
Ponting, made the damn thing look easy, batting for 3 hours and 20
minutes and scoring 143 runs not out, including the game-winning shot, almost single-handedly turning the match.  And if
that’s not climactic enough, his last swing also made him the greatest
individual run-scorer in the history of the SCG as well.

Lots of screaming and cheering.  And in between, lots of scribbling.  I wish I had more time to share it all, but eventually it will all be in books and stuff, I hope.

I met an American here today who married an Australian and has lived in Sydney for 5 years.  She was the single fattest person I’ve seen in my two weeks here.  I’m serious.  That’s the honest truth.  And
get this — she really doesn’t like Australia that much.  Guess why.  Go ahead, guess.  OK.  Ready?

Because these poor backward people don’t have Wal-Marts.

She noted this with a mixture of disdain and pitiful condescension.

Speaking of these so-unfortunate locals and their primitive ways, the broadcast here of a documentary questioning the
official version of 9-11 on a major network in prime time, strangely
enough, did not destroy the fabric of the civilization.  Curious, this.

In fact, Warren Beatty’s "Bulworth" was the Seven network
tonight, broadcast, major, prime time, same deal.  I’m not sure it has
ever been broadcast in the U.S. in prime time on one of the big three. 
I certainly don’t remember it; there probably would have been
significant fooferah.  (I’m also sure somebody will send an email in the next six minutes with the exact data, yes or no.  You guys rule.)

Oh — and here in Australia, the film went into living rooms unedited, complete with
every last S-word, F-word, 10-letter C-word, and 12-letter M-word.

Hmm.  And yet Oz has lower crime, poverty, and divorce rates than the
U.S.  How is this even possible?  I thought those words had magical
powers to destroy minds.  Hmm.  The very fact that one of Australia’s
major broadcast networks has no compunction about this, and yet I’m
expected even by many people who are open-minded by the standards back
home to bowdlerize my use of these words to the level of baby talk,
tells me that tomorrow Australia will be destroyed by America’s
powerful Republican god.

If not, then obviously all this decency shit is fucked.

So, basically, I am crazy about this country almost the way I used to be crazy about girls in
high school.  I’m almost surprised I haven’t tried to put my hand on
Adelaide.

Oh — and down here, the important Bill O’Reilly is the one who played cricket.

His speciality?  Spinning.  Honest.