Let’s see… there’s this guy.

Turns out Bush could have nailed him years ago. 

According to the CIA field commander at Tora Bora, U.S. intelligence absolutely knew that Osama Bin Laden was not only present, but virtually trapped. 
All the CIA and Special Forces guys needed was additional conventional
support to cut off his escape, and Bin Laden would have been arrested.

This was in December of 2001.

But Bush and Rumsfeld never sent the additional troops.

And then there’s this woman.

Cindy Sheehan is the mother of Casey Sheehan, a U.S. soldier killed in Iraq.

She’s
holed up just down the road from Bush’s ranch in Crawford.  She’s
unarmed, nonviolent, and carrying little but questions.  She simply
agrees with the 61% of Americans who disapprove of Bush’s handling of the war.  All she’s doing is demanding accountability from her elected president.

Ms. Sheehan is receiving a steady series of hassles and threats of arrest on constantly-changing terms.

Curious set of priorities, this.

For a man who talks so much about democracy and freedom, he certainly makes time for some unusual friends.

Those are the oil-rich dictators Abdullah, Nazarbayev, and Karimov.  I didn’t plan it this way, but the photos are proportioned roughly to the amount of oil they control.

Bush has no problem whatsoever making time for people who (respectively, and just for starters) jail free-speech advocates, persecute opponents, and even open fire on demonstrators. 

Bush’s attitude toward an American citizen exercising constitutional rights?  We already know.

And so, I ask:

Osama Bin Laden or Cindy Sheehan:

Which one will George W. Bush have arrested first?

Thanks to the twin miracles of satellites and TiVo, I’ve had the Ashes cricket contest between England and Australia on while working for the last couple of days.

I don’t wish to bore the 85% of my readership who are guaranteed not to
care.  But it’s absolutely thrilling.  Most of the time I just keep my eyes on the keyboard
and my ears half-tuned to the gentle purr of announcers debating the placement of slips and covers and the
questionable wisdom of legging out singles when faced with a long chase.  Much of this washes over.

But every now and again, right in the middle of this tea-sipping refinement, there’s a sudden gale of googly-eyed unarticulated Wilhelm screaming. 
Like nothing in any American sport I know.  Then I look up, rewind, and
see what the hell just
happened:  A wicket!  Or not!  Usually not!  Usually it’s just a lot of
screaming!  Everybody, all at once, eleven guys bellowing like they’ve
been attacked by crocodiles!  Because the ball hit the pads first, not
the bat! 
Or didn’t!  Depending!

BLEAAAAAAAAAUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Shane Warne in particular seems to think his testicles are coming unspooled, about once every five minutes.

And I’m a big Shane Warne fan, mind you.  Just saying.

Between these outbursts, the announcers go back to soporific meditation, actually saying things
like (and this is a direct quote from today): "The next several hours
will be pivotal."

Which, yes, they actually were.

Cricket is the only
sport played in evolutionary time.

With frequent primal screaming.

If you’re curious at all, click the link above and hit "open" next to
"Audio And Video" in the upper right, anytime after about 5:30 am EDT
either day this weekend.  You’ll get an audio feed from
Radio Five which might make little sense whatsoever for a while, but
which will, eventually, include at least a few good
BLEAAAAAAAAAUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!s and perhaps a meandering testicle or two.

One last thing, for the three people reading this actually following
the test: is it just me, or is the English wicketkeeper so bad that he’s actually one of the
best players on the Australian side right now?

UPDATE: The second test just finished.  Warne got a pile of wickets,
but Australia’s best batsmen folded in the second innings, leaving only
the three weakest-hitting bowlers needing to score 107 runs.  The
baseball equivalent would be expecting pitchers to mount a 10-run
comeback in the bottom of the ninth.  It should have been over in
minutes.

Except it wasn’t.

Fabulous.

UPDATE AGAIN: I am informed that there is a discussion somewhere at a sports blog called The Frog where I am referred to as "America’s cricket fan."  Singular.

Excellent.  Genuinely funny.  Too bad it feels all too true.

I’ve also heard from several people that BLEAAAAAAAAAUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!
is actually a common mispronunciation of "Howzat?", which in turn is
presumably short for "excuse me, gentle umpire, but how is that shot,
in your estimation, good sir?"

You can see the resemblance.

It still sounds like eleven guys being attacked by crocodiles while their testicles come unspooled.

Emo has been extended.

Fortunately, the bones should heal in a matter of weeks.

The people have spoken:
 

What's the best thing about John Bolton going to the UN?
At last, the red-faced insanity of Team Chimpy has an appropriate face
198   36.7%
Someone a little more experienced at perjury will be lying on our behalf
194   35.9%
America was badly trailing in the Nutjobs With Funky Mustaches Race
130   24.1%
We can finally work on the outsourcing of abused-subordinate jobs
18   3.3%

When John Bolton's head finally does suddenly explode from stress, what will fly all over the room?
A replacement head even angrier than the first, which explodes. And then another, and another…
178   38%
A small, hissing parasite from the evil Planet Of Doom
178   38%
Shredded documents
84   17.9%
Party favors
28   6%

Unfortunately, the second poll picked the wrong right-winger to go FLAM! on national TV.  At least so far.

New poll at left.

If the White House’s new spin is right, and it’s not a Global War On Terror, then what is it?
The Domestic Carte Blanche To Lie, Steal, and Commit Treason
304   48.3%
The Global Offensive To Piss Off The Globe
169   26.9%
The Regional Campaign To Create Even More Terrorists
128   20.3%
The Iraq Attack On Anything That Friggin’ Moves
28   4.5%

So.  John Bolton.

Perfect.  Absolutely perfect.

Have you ever seen the guy talk?  I’m not exaggerating — he really looks like his head could explode at any minute.

Two new polls at upper left.