What’s the next Bush position on Social Security?
There simply aren’t enough young people dying in unnecessary wars to keep the system in balance — no matter how hard we try
497   74.2%
The AARP has WMDs
131   19.6%
We can’t keep it because it slept with Judith Regan
31   4.6%
It blew up on the launching pad during another Missile Defense test
11   1.6%

Highest percentage winner yet in one of these polls.  Incidentally, thanks to the folks at Funny Times, who have started running these in their monthly print issues.  Neat.

You go to war with the irreponsible, deceitful, insensitive Scrooge you have, not the borderline-competent jackass you’d probably gladly settle for at this point:

The Pentagon has acknowledged that Donald H. Rumsfeld did not sign condolence letters to the families of soldiers killed in Iraq…

Men died because of this man’s fragile ego.  And he couldn’t be bothered to pick up a pen and even sign his own name on a letter to their mothers.

His squash schedule, however, seems to have gone off without a hitch.

PS — read down in the article, and it turns out some recipients think Bush is having his letters signed by machine, too, since the signatures are apparently so similar.  But the White House denies it, and we all know they always tell the truth…