The new Chomsky just came.  I didn’t exactly run around the house like Steve Martin in The Jerk getting the first new phone book with his name in it, but if, like me, you enjoy the characteristic Chomsky-exposure mixture of (a) appreciating the work of a guy who tries to refuse moral relativism in all its forms, while (b) becoming incredibly depressed, it’s a hell of a good read.

I’d recommend alternating with John Hodgman’s The Areas of My Expertise, a surrealist almanac more accurate than most of the evening news.  The authoritative list of eight U.S. presidents who had hooks for hands, for example, is a perfect reset-button after reading Chomsky’s assessment of the U.S. electoral process.

… is that you don’t have to do death every damn year.

I return now, after spending most of the last few days enduring the government’s annual attempt to dazzle me with the four basic mathematical operators before taking large chunks of my money, partly to finance pointless killing in my name.

Without getting into boring detail, my tax situation is a little complex.  Thing is, if you read too closely, the IRS doesn’t exactly help.  Over the weekend, I was instructed in writing to both (a) submit and (b) not submit a particular schedule, and to send the kaboodle to two alternative, mutually exclusive locations.

Yes, I read very carefully, double- and triple-checking.  Eventually, I chose to follow the instructions that looked like they would be seen by more people, choosing safety in numbers.

This way, at least I will have company in jail.

Is Iran getting anywhere near the nuclear-bomb capacity Chimpus Maximus et al are claiming?  No, not according to the U.S. intelligence community.

There are serious technical obstacles presented by the Iranium uranium itself.  (Not least of which: “Iranian uranium” is too much fun to say out loud.)

This also leaves aside the Rube Goldberg status of their centrifuge capacity.

So, um, except for the uranium and the centrifuges, I guess, well, Iran is practically ready to go…

Treating
this as an imminent threat would get Bush laughed out of the White
House if we had a functional media and a system of checks and balances
that actually worked anymore.

Instead, if Bush isn’t stopped, the pointless disaster could be Iraq x 10.  At least.

According to the Union of Concerned Scientists, using nuclear warheads to attack bunkers, as is reportedly under discussion, would kill innocent people — possibly millions — and yet not actually accomplish anything. 

Want to see why?  Click the link.  They made a cartoon, so even CNN and Fox News can understand.

(Shlit.  I cannot believe we are trying to stop more pointless megadeath with frickin’ cartoons on the Internet.  I mean, fluuuuuck.  But that’s where we are…)

In any case: Possibly millions of innocent people killed.  Let’s get this clear.

And
according to counterintelligence czar Richard Clarke, who is privy to
most of the wargaming the U.S. has done on the subject in the last
decade, the aftermath has no victory scenario — none
— and would likely (a) drive the Iranian people deeper into the arms of
their own lunatic leaders, (b) destabilize Iraq even further, and (c) result in
massively increased terror attacks on the U.S. all over the world —
including here.

So, let’s see: no upside, unimaginable horrible downside for all concerned.  Genius. 

And
for what?  FOR WHAT?  Chimpus Maximus’s ego?  So the 30% of America
who are too goddamned misinformed and proud to realize they’ve been royally had can spend another year or two not admitting their mistakes?

Careful going down those steps…

I suspect I will feel this way when my taxes are done.

Sent by alert reader Jane, source unknown, copyright holder hugged. 

A dear friend of mine actually had the chance to ride this thing on a private, supervised tour as a paid consultant for EPCOT.  She said it was one of the most unpleasant experiences of her life.  One of the engineers told her straight-out that when the ride was under development, it made 100% of the people who rode it sick.

Now, another death.  Hardly a surprise.

In addition to the two deaths in the last 10 months, 10 people reported serious illnesses or injuries since the ride opened in summer 2003, according to reports Disney filed with the Florida Bureau of Fair Ride Inspections. That’s the worst record of all the Disney attractions and doesn’t include more than 130 other “Mission: Space” riders who sought medical attention, according to ambulance records.

And yet the minute the thing opened, people lined right back up to get on.  Never mind the public record of human lives seriously messed up by this thing.  Never mind the thirteen signs warning of various hazards.  Never mind that it had just been closed because — let’s not miss this fine point — somebody just died while riding it. 

People lined right back up.

Why?

Because they liked how it made them feel.  They had a greater attachment to the emotions of excitement and anticipation and getting their money’s worth than to anything most people would consider common sense.

Now Bush is starting to try to lie us into another unnecessary war, this time with Iran.  And millions of people will convince themselves that he is telling the truth.

Why?

Because they like how it makes them feel.  They have a greater attachment to the emotions of pride and their false self-perception of strength in the face of persecution than to any fact-based analysis, not to mention common sense.

How can their minds ever be changed?  The phony WMDs didn’t do it.  Katrina didn’t do it.  The admitted crime of warrantless domestic spying didn’t do it.

This is not because these people are less logical or dumber than everyone else.  Hardly.  Everybody has emotional attachments which cloud their judgment.  Jeebus, I still root for the Cleveland goddam Indians, people.  The Cleveland.  Goddam.  Indians.

But let’s be clear on what has to happen for the national discussion to move.  Almost two-thirds of the electorate seems to understand, finally, that Bush is a lying incompetent with no concern for the constitution and a propensity for getting a lot of people killed.  Changing the minds of that last third will not be the result of an intellectual discussion.  It will be about finding a way to disconnect ego-identification and emotional attachments.

How that happens, I have no freakin’ clue.  But just saying.