Will take a bit to get back up to speed here.

Meanwhile, here’s what all the cool kids are doing these days: extreme wheelbarrowing.

PS — interesting to note that the Poll Of The Day has hung there unchanged for so long that it’s suddenly current again. 

You might have heard that Sprint has decided to try to get some online
word-of-mouth on the cheap by sending certain bloggers spiffy new
phones for free, in hopes that we’ll go online and rant about just how
fabulous the things are.

I’m no morality expert, but it seems kinda unethical.  So normally, I would say no or ignore it, just to be sure.

I feel obligated, however, to tell you that I have agreed to accept
Sprint’s offer.  Just this once.  I will try the phone.  If it is good,
I will say so.  If not, I will say so.

I would also like to use this moment to tell you that I deeply loathe
Sprint and will never, ever become their customer again, even if the
new phone grants magic wishes, provides sexual favors, and peacefully
removes George W. Bush from office.

So thanks, Sprint, for reminding me of something I’ve been meaning to mention.

I was a loyal Sprint customer for maybe 18 years or so, largely because
of a rewards program which racked up credits for air travel.  If you
spent a ton of money, you could eventually get roundtrip tickets to Europe or even further.

Over the years, I spent the tons of money.  And I looked forward to the day I could cash in those tickets.

Along the way, other companies sometimes seemed to have better deals on
phone rates.  But the promised international travel, now that I had
enough points, looked like enough reason to keep spending my money with
with Sprint.  Finally, I thought I had enough points stacked up to
travel to Europe several times over, and at last I had my life arranged
to do so.

But guess what?  They’d changed the rules.

I was supposed to have known, they insisted, because of announcements
buried in mailings which I honestly don’t remember ever seeing.  I’m
sure this is absolutely true.  I’m certain their lawyers got the fine
print all nice and legal, wherever it was.  Hell, somebody probably got
promoted for figuring out how to screw the customer so neatly within the bounds of acceptable business practice.

I’m not saying Sprint did anything wrong,
mind you.  Absolutely not.  I’m just saying that someone at Sprint
found a corner to cut.  And I was unfortunate enough to be standing on
it.

I certainly would have appreciated a letter more clearly saying:
"Attention Sprint customers: we are gradually jacking you out of your
miles, even if you’ve been saving them for over a decade.  So get on a
plane now, or kiss your trips goodbye."  But this is hardly what they
teach in marketing class.

So, thousands of dollars’ worth of tickets, and an adult lifetime of customer loyalty, poof. 
Thanks for playing.  I also found my experience with their customer
service people consistently cold, with one exception: one nice young
lady helped me make sure I got at least a couple of small vouchers as a
consolation prize.  (These are not enough, however, even to fly home to
Ohio, and remain unused.)

Bottom line: I will never do business with Sprint again, under any
circumstances.  I don’t care if Mr. and Mrs. Sprint themselves come to
the house in tight leather pants and beg my forgiveness with favors
that would make civilized people blush.

But I’ll take their damned phone, because they so clearly want me to
tell you about my wonderful experience with Sprint.  I must say I’m
enjoying the opportunity.  Happy to oblige.

I’ll even make a few calls.  If the phone works, I’ll say so, straight
up.  If it lives up to my wildest dreams, I’ll tell you, assuming I can
stop the ecstatic moaning long enough.  If it turns out I actually do decide to keep using this phone, trust me, something pretty amazing is happening, and you’ll want to get one for every orifice.

I’m especially hoping that the phone has a little blue button on it
that says "give me back the airline tickets I saved up for, you cheap
bastards."  This would be a desireable feature, even more so than an
mp3 player.  I will hope to find it.

Otherwise, no way in hell Sprint ever gets another dime from me.

PS — incidentally, anyone who travels internationally a lot is aware
of the technical differences between the US’ and other countries’
mobile systems.  As of last spring, the only place in the U.S. I could
find that offered a phone I could use anywhere in the world was
T-Mobile (a division of Deutsche Telekom).  Now, I have a phone in my
pocket which rings when people call my number, no matter where I am on
Earth.  It costs the caller nothing extra and costs me surprisingly
little.  The signal has been clear everywhere from Sydney to Helsinki.

Top that, Sprint.

UPDATE: On reflection, the phrase at the top of this piece — "seems kinda
unethical" seems seems to question the
morality of a bunch of other bloggers who accepted the deal, and that
wasn’t my intention.  This is a grey area in the brave new blogging
world.  These are judgment calls.

As to Sprint’s end of things, however, the take-it-or-leave-it offer includes both the phone and sixfull
months of service.  That’s excessive, in my view, since it should only
take a week, max, for somebody to decide if they like the
phone.  That’s what set off my hink-o-meter.  The remainder — six
months?! — seems like a biiiiiiiiiig throw-in if
Sprint just wants an honest review only about
the service’s merits.  Feels kinda hinky as opposed to, I
dunno, ads paid for in barter, review copies of books, or the use of
loaned tech gear for review, all accepted practices with fairly clear
boundaries established for good reasons.

It’s also possible that my judgment is colored by my loathing of Sprint.  You decide.

Incidentally, I’ve now tried Sprint’s new phone, a
Samsung.  It’s just OK.  Some folks might like it as an upgrade, but
I’ve had most of these features on my existing T-Mobile unit for most of a year
now.  And while the Samsung’s not crap, this one doesn’t hold a charge well
(despite following the manual precisely), the ports are clunky to
access, and while the video option is OK, it’s nothing more.  If I want
handheld video (I don’t) I’ll buy a video iPod, not squint at a jerky
blur on my cell phone.  (The Samsung displays simple animations — like
an Adult Swim promo I found — crisply, but really struggled with
video, as in movie previews, etc.)

The other features are all becoming pretty standard, although they
might seem new for a while because mobile phone companies often treat
the U.S. as a backwater for dumping last year’s models.  (One of the
things about traveling a lot is seeing high school kids in Europe
nonchalantly using cell phones that simply don’t exist in the U.S.
yet.  People in
Finland have, like, tricorders and phasers in their mobiles already. 
We
won’t get those until 2007, and only Bush’s cronies will have them.)

By the way, checking out the phone, playing with the features,
downloading some stuff, making a few calls, etc. took less than an hour, during a needed break from book-deadline frenzy.  Not six months.

Bottom line: the phone’s decent.  But it does not have a little blue button on it
that says "give me back the airline tickets I saved up for, you cheap
bastards."

I doubt Sprint even offers that button in Finland.

My best friend Jane has started her own blog.  She’s one of the best TV writers on the planet, with a Hugo award and a resume longer than most deli menus; if you do a little poking around, you’ll probably realize that you’re already a fan.

Go say hi.

From last night’s "Fox Sports World Report" (I know, it’s Fox, but it’s
also the only place a cricket fan in North America can see a minute or
two of highlights):

Picture a jocular sports anchor named Carlos sitting next to his
reporting partner Michelle, who is normally dressed in the standard boxy jackets one
expects from newsreaders, but on this occasion is wearing a slinky
black shoulder-baring outfit which is vastly sexier than anything
you’ve ever seen at a news desk.

Carlos, to his credit, manages not to say anything about Michelle’s eye-popping fashion choice.

And then Carlos tosses Michelle the intro to the India/Pakistan cricket test, giving the locale an unfortunate prominence:

Carlos: "… with the latest highlights from Lahore."

Michelle: [tiny but noticeable pause] "Thanks, Carlos…"

I’m certain Carlos never realized how he phrased it, and Michelle
managed the impending-train-wreck moment so smoothly she can plausibly deny she even
noticed.  So this is the last you’ll hear of it, I’m sure.  Didn’t
happen.  From here on, let’s assume I only imagined that two-frame look
of "well, that could have been phrased better" in her eyes.

Still, it was one of the most graceful saves of a deliciously unexpected moment I’ve ever seen.  If Michelle ever reads this, nicely done.

Incidentally, if you’ve screwed anything up today, take some comfort in what
happened in that test: the Indian openers batted for roughly six solid
hours without making a mistake, eventually nearing a 50-year old record
for runs scored to open an innings.  And then, with only one more good
whack needed to break the record… whoops.  Oh well.

Happens to all of us.

Ray Nagin, mayor of New Orleans, not quite the speaker MLK was.

I don’t point out the obvious here because it’s as if the mainstream
won’t mention it.  Quite the opposite: a Democratic mayor says
something stupid, it’s Headline News.  A Democratic former vice
president accuses the sitting president of intentional repeated
criminal acts, it’s sandwiched between a space probe and a cake for Ben
Franklin.  (Gore would have gotten more coverage if he’d taken
hostages, spilled toxic waste on a highway, or both.)

I mention Nagin here out of basic fairness: sure, it’s offensive when
the Pat Robertsons of the world invoke some weird notion of god as
projections of their own ego and desires.  But it should obviously be
just as offensive and idiotic when someone else does it, too.

If not, then I hereby justly declare that God Almighty, the Infinite
and Unknowable, Creator of All That Is Beyond Comprehension, is
cheating on his diet with a tuna sandwich at the moment.  He also bats
left-handed but throws with his right, loves the ketchup-flavored
Twisties snacks you can buy in southeast Asia, and hasn’t played the
banjo in almost a year.

Oh — and God Almighty really, really thinks it’s incredibly stupid-sounding when anyone claims with certainty to speak for Him.