According to Scripps-Howard, security for the Bush coronation includes this bizarre, weirdly disconcerting instruction (which, unbelievably, I am not making up):

Other instructions given performers include a warning not to look directly at Bush while passing the presidential reviewing stand, not to look to either side and not to make any sudden movements.

WTF?  Are they afraid some Wisconsin marching band member is gonna be blinded by confronting pure evil?  (Hell, no.  Those people once elected Tommy Thompson, remember.  They’re perfectly fine with pure evil.)

Or maybe they’re worried some well-endowed drum majorette (whose metal baton won’t have made it through the screening, remember) is gonna try to cap the First Wanker with a well-timed swing of her ample bosom?

Come to think of it, that might be the answer.  Bush was a Deke, after all.  Maybe the Secret Service just thinks it would be undignified to begin a second term with a suddenly-aroused-by-eye-contact incumbent shouting "Whip ’em out!" before his hand even hits the Bible.

So the performers — which include (I quote):

"… color guards, pompon dancers, hand bell-ringers, drill teams on horseback, and Civil War re-enactors…"

are advised not to make any sudden movements.

Right. 

How, pray tell, do you re-enact the Civil War without making any sudden movements?

Seriously.  I want to know.

Do these people ever make any sense whatsoever?  I mean, ever?

Not making this up.

I guess it’s reassuring to know that the voltage being applied to your trinkets is at least powered by sustainable energy.

Although that would mean it could last longer.

Choices, choices.

No word yet on when Texas gets the solar-powered Death Chair.

Apparently the NAS doesn’t fully understand that the GOP can just re-label this as "atmosphere reform" and the dittoheads will happily breathe it right in…

Here’s another shot from the Los Angeles Zoo, where this young lady came over to say hello.  From the body language, I think she was asking for something, but my puduese isn’t particularly good.

I barked at her a couple of times, but she didn’t seem to understand.  My accent must be pretty thick.

Besides Armstrong Williams, where else is Bush secretly funneling your tax dollars?
Latin American death squads — old family habits die hard
341   52.7%
His enormous underground lair, packed with a jet car, dried foods, and an entire trunkload of barbituates, with which he plans a thrilling getaway just as the rebellion reaches the gates
208   32.1%
The Olsen twins — for making Barb & Jenna seem relatively sane by comparison
64   9.9%
The Iraqi troposphere — in the form of explosive gases
34   5.3%

But what is David Kay going to do, now that the weapons that we told in 1995 had been destroyed in 1991 turn out not to exist in 2005?  Poll at upper left…