Flipping through channels, I accidentally just stumbled across what DirecTV modestly calls their "News Mix" channel.

Agh!  Someone stop the flashing lights!

Seven different video feeds — Fox News, CNN, Headline News, CNBC, MSNBC, etc. — all crammed into one screen.  All begging for my attention at once!  I can’t even tell what’s happening, but it’s all so all urgent — everything, everywhere, is happening now! — and I need to know!  Now!  Know now!  I need now know!  Need!  NOW!

My eyes!  Oh my God my eyes!  It burns!  It burns!

AIEEE!!!!!