Since I had to withhold the photographs of amorous pudus as a matter of executive privilege, here’s another spectacular ungulate to tide you over, courtesy my friend Chris who just got back from Kenya:

This is a Gerenuk, also known as a giraffe antelope, also known as a Dik-dik which not only cares about hair care and makeup but can also kick your freakin’ ass.

So when a gerenuk starts prattling on and on about how much nicer their butt looks since they’ve started going back to the gym, you pretty much wind up doing a lot of nodding and pretending you’re listening.

Do not mess with the Gerenuk.

What do you say when your company has just lost $14.2 million in three months?

If only we had a single person in the White House or the Congressional leadership capable of uttering two similar words…

"Judge Samuel Alito" = JUST MALE DIALOGUE

Lot of fuss today.

Granted, his record certainly looks potentially worrisome to women, immigrants, minorities, people with disabilities, people with AIDS, plus other sick people and folks planning to have children.

This last — a hostility to the Family and Medical Leave Act — is
particularly excellent for pregnant women: with Alito as a justice, you
lose whether you have the child or not.

So whatever you do, remember: sex is very bad.

But that all said, admirers of strip-searches of 10-year-old girls, free trade in machine guns, suspiciously avoiding military service, and financial conflicts of interest should be plenty happy.

I’ve just heard from a fellow who would like to blow the whistle on employment practices by a very large company doing contract work for the Defense Department in Iraq.

I’m out of my depth on this.  Is there a particular watchdog organization he should go to?  Where would be the best place for him to air his concerns?  I’ll forward any useful response in his direction.

Thanks!

Just came from the L.A. Zoo.

It’s the time of year when love is in the air for young teenage pudus. 
I wasn’t actually expecting a show, but today, for the first time, I have seen the results with my own eyes. 
From about four feet away.

This was absolutely adorable.

This was also perhaps the single most physically awkward maneuver I
have ever seen attempted.  Imagine trying to stack two Vienna sausages on top of
each other so that they don’t just immediately roll apart. 
Now imagine trying this when your brain is flushed with hormones and you have an IQ of about ten.  Then add four big confused eyes and eight flailing limbs.  Repeat.

There is a good reason that pudus are not stacked on shelves at IKEA.  They
are not made to assemble easily.  I don’t think even an Allen
wrench would help.

I would show you.  I took a few pictures when I could stop laughing long enough to hold the camera still.  But trust me: there are some things much better left to the imagination.

No matter how much awkwardness you ever went through as a teenager…
rest assured, there are entire species who seem to have things much worse.