Glib answer: To keep his pants up!

On second thought, ewwww.  Never mind.

In fact, please slap your computer right now, hard enough that my own will shake violently.  I need to get this image out of my head.

Ewwww.  Eeeeyeewwwww.

I’ve noticed, btw, that the wire story seems to be morphing before our eyes.  One early version