Category Archives: Almost Seven Wonders

The Almost Seven Wonders files

Bush Abrogates Third Amendment, Just to Complete the Set

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July 4, 2007

    American citizens will now be compelled to
allow British soldiers to live in their homes, thanks to a new signing
statement from President Bush.

    By negating the Third
Amendment, the new order completes the abrogation of the entire United
States Bill of Rights.  High-level White House sources have indicated
that this was Bush’s sole purpose in issuing the statement.

   
While precisely which British soldiers are to live in which homes
remains unclear, the signing statement is clear and unambiguous,
according to a press release on the White House website.  The
statement, in Bush’s handwriting, contains the complete text of the
Third Amendment

Friday pudublogging: Neither Deer Nor Mouse Edition

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   From alert reader Steve Scott, this fine little fellow from the Singapore Zoo:


Singapore Mouse Deer


   This is a Mouse Deer (also known as a Chevrotain, which I believe is also a kind of small car), a teeny little guy that usually weighs about four pounds and is only as long as your arm south of the elbow.


   I saw a few of these myself in Kuala Lumpur. In a zoo, I mean. Not just running around loose through the city in vast, curious herds, cornering through traffic with their tiny little trotters, scratching against things with their snaggleteeth, sticking their snouts into any fine-smelling item, and running like hell from people’s chihuahuas. Although that would be fun to see.


   I believe this particular fellow is a Lesser Mouse Deer. But don’t say anything. He probably has enough self-esteem problems as it is.


   Incidentally, the Mouse Deer is actually neither deer nor mouse.


   If this seems confusing, consider the woodpecker.


   (And if that amuses you, it’s actually one of about 800 little jokes buried in the new book, which you might like. Have I mentioned there’s a new book? Because there’s a new book.)


 


   UPDATE: in my culture, calling someone a “Steve” is a very high compliment indeed. But the guy’s actual name is “Scott.” And my actual name is Sloppy McRushdork.


   Ahem.


   The pudus giggle.