Blackbirds falling from the sky and fish washing ashore in four states can only mean one thing

M. Night Shyamalan has started directing our entire lives.

And we're only on page 3.

Well, dang.

Next, watch for aliens, ghosts, demons, alien ghost demons, and exposition shots of Philadelphia.

In four months, there will be a surprise twist that is not remotely surprising.

It will either be (a) our environmental regulations are too lax, or (b) we all actually died during the Bush administration, and the last two years have been a collective hallucination inside Mel Gibson's head.

Sometimes, watching the news, it all feels way too much like (b) anyway.