Actual entries from the NYT Almanac’s "Chronology of U.S. History" (not online that I can find, unfortunately; you’ll have to take my word for it), with verbatim quotes next to the year:

1636     New Englanders massacre hundreds of Indians in Pequot War.  Harvard College established.

1656     First Quakers arrive in America; imprisoned in Boston, beaten, and deported.

1842     U.S. accidentally seizes California, then returns it with apology to Mexico.

Some unknown NYT editor is either utterly oblivious… or (I prefer to think) has a deliciously bleak sense of humor.