Prisoner of Trebekistan: the Table of Contents

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Here’s the actual Table of Contents for Prisoner of Trebekistan, sans page numbers, which I couldn’t figure out how to format neatly here.

Like the index, this may eventually get a musical treatment, maybe over some Al Jarreau-style scat singing or maybe a reggae thing.  Why?  I have no idea.  Just seems amusing.

Chapter One : Why Alex May Not Have A Physical Body

Also, Choosing The Correct Millisecond

Chapter Two: A Complete Inability To Learn From Failure

Also, Incompetence, Ignorance, and Clumsiness

Chapter Three: The Thing That Came From Merv’s Dining Room

Also, A Hiawatha Much Bigger Than Yours

Chapter Four:  Close Your Eyes, Breathe Deeply, And Scream

Also, I Discover More In My Head Than Just Knowledge

   
Chapter Five:  Halloween Comes Suddenly

Also, Scandalous Thoughts About Ned Flanders’s Wife

Chapter Six: Thinking Ahead While Not Thinking At All

Also, Safety Instructions For Your Jeopardy Weapon

Chapter Seven: How Everything Is Connected

Also, Twenty-One Interesting Uses For Rubber

Chapter Eight: Evening Falls

Also, A Fifty-Foot Wall In My Head

Chapter Nine: Fun With Howards End

Also, I Kick William Shakespeare’s Ass

Chapter Ten: The Longest Day

Also, I Am Attacked By Ravenous Badgers

Chapter Eleven: The War Comes Home

Also, Detaching My Althing From My Knesset

Chapter Twelve: Jeopardy Fever

Also, I Am Ambushed By The Bishop Of Hippo

Chapter Thirteen: Facing The Think Music

Also, Strangers Seize Me By The Udder And Yank

Chapter Fourteen: We’re Malaysia-Bound

Also, Why People Are Looking At Me Funny In This Coffee Shop

Chapter Fifteen: A Hail Mary For Anthony Hopkins

Also, Fishing Up The Urethra

Chapter Sixteen: Things To Do On Jeopardy When You’re Dead

Also, Private Moments With Mrs. Butterworth

Chapter Seventeen: A Pep Talk From President Garfield

Also, What I Bought From The J.H. Gilbert Co. Of Willoughby, Ohio

Chapter Eighteen: Greed, A Quick Smush, And A Shameful Little Booby

Also, I Help With Another Howard’s End

Chapter Nineteen: Jane

Also, Jane

Chapter Twenty: The Importance of Memory In Recovery

Also, A Brief Look At Estonian Revolutionary Movements

Chapter Twenty-One: My Life As A Rockette

Also, Why I Have An Ancient Civilization In My Pants

Chapter Twenty-Two: Attack Of The Pudu

Also, I Get Lost In Africa, And Not For the Last Time

Chapter Twenty-Three: Love, Kindness, And An Old Chicken Sandwich

Also, Why Penguins Throw Up Down Under

Chapter Twenty-Four: The Ultimate Tournament

Also, I Swear Off the Weapon

Chapter Twenty-Five: Not Quite Letting Go Of Outcome

Also, A Massive Explosion Caught Live On Videotape

Chapter Twenty-Six: Where All Knowledge Is Kept

Also, Eleven More Sentences That Are Actually True