Here’s the actual Table of Contents for Prisoner of Trebekistan, sans page numbers, which I couldn’t figure out how to format neatly here.
Like the index, this may eventually get a musical treatment, maybe over some Al Jarreau-style scat singing or maybe a reggae thing. Why? I have no idea. Just seems amusing.
Chapter One : Why Alex May Not Have A Physical Body
Chapter Two: A Complete Inability To Learn From Failure
Chapter Three: The Thing That Came From Merv’s Dining Room
Chapter Four: Close Your Eyes, Breathe Deeply, And Scream
Chapter Five: Halloween Comes Suddenly
Chapter Six: Thinking Ahead While Not Thinking At All
Chapter Seven: How Everything Is Connected
Chapter Eight: Evening Falls
Chapter Nine: Fun With Howards End
Chapter Ten: The Longest Day
Chapter Eleven: The War Comes Home
Chapter Twelve: Jeopardy Fever
Chapter Thirteen: Facing The Think Music
Chapter Fourteen: We’re Malaysia-Bound
Chapter Fifteen: A Hail Mary For Anthony Hopkins
Chapter Sixteen: Things To Do On Jeopardy When You’re Dead
Chapter Seventeen: A Pep Talk From President Garfield
Chapter Eighteen: Greed, A Quick Smush, And A Shameful Little Booby
Chapter Nineteen: Jane
Chapter Twenty: The Importance of Memory In Recovery
Chapter Twenty-One: My Life As A Rockette
Chapter Twenty-Two: Attack Of The Pudu
Chapter Twenty-Three: Love, Kindness, And An Old Chicken Sandwich
Chapter Twenty-Four: The Ultimate Tournament
Chapter Twenty-Five: Not Quite Letting Go Of Outcome
Chapter Twenty-Six: Where All Knowledge Is Kept