Trebekistan FAQ

For questions about the rest of the site, visit the main FAQ.

These are the questions I hear most often (or, toward the bottom, I anticipate hearing most often), in roughly the order I usually hear them in.  So, to save us all a little time:

I think I figured out who the Jane/David/Danny/etc. character is, and it’s someone I’ve heard of from TV.  Am I right?

Probably.

For the record, "Jane" is Jayne Mansfield, "David" is David Rockefeller, and "Danny" is Danny Gans, Las Vegas Entertainer of the Year every year since the invention of the billboard, apparently.

And I am lying through my teeth right there.  If your guesses seem more reasonable, then they probably are.  Rest assured, yes, if you think you know one of the characters from TV, then you probably do.

What kind of a car is Max?

Can’t tell you, because I still drive him, and I value my privacy, believe it or not.  But people apparently imagine him most frequently as a 1960s VW bug, the kind that sounds like a small aircraft taking off when it struggles to get on the interstate.  That’s close enough for me.

What

R.I.P. Steve Irwin

Lots of tragedy in the world everyday, obviously.  And a lot of people will argue that it was only a matter of time, and he went out doing what he loved, and there are greater horrors to worry about.  And true.  Still, very sad at the news.

Couldn’t help but think of this sign at the Australia Zoo, warning people not to do any of the silly things that the owner might try:

Honestly, it never would have occurred to me to attempt to play catch with a crocodile, much less dangle my own legs toward it. 

Of course, it also never would have occurred to me to walk a wombat on a leash, either.

Walk the wombat

Unique place.  Unique life.  Guy made millions of people happy.  Not many can say that.  He’ll be missed.

Bradzilla

Bradford Rutter is the biggest winner in the history of Jeopardy! and perhaps its greatest player, having amassed over $3.2 million at the tender age of 27, becoming the biggest quiz show winner in history.

Brad has won the 2001 Tournament of Champions, the 2002 Million-Dollar Masters, and the 2005 Ultimate Tournament of Champions, making him the only 3-tournament winner in Jeopardy history.  When he played Ken Jennings and Jerome Vered in the three-day finals of the Ultimate Tournament, he beat both Ken and Jerome three games in a row.

No one, in fact, has ever beaten Brad.  So, you ask me, he kinda deserves his own interview.

The following was recorded at a small Italian restaurant in Beverly Hills, walking distance from the lush Beverly Hilton, where Jeopardy! bunked him during two of his tournament wins.  I had only begun working on Trebekistan and had no real idea what the book would eventually look like.

Brad: So I can trust you with this, right?  I mean you’re not gonna give away any trade secrets here.

Me: Of course not.  And if something slips, and you don’t want it in, that’s fine.  I’ll be the only one who knows.  That could work to my advantage if we ever play each other.

Brad: So if I say something like [something completely unrepeatable] —

Me: [laughing] I can promise that won’t be in the book.

Brad: Cool.  Y’know, when I heard you were writing this, I thought, "this is the perfect guy."

Me: I see.  So the tape goes on, and the flattery begins.  You’ll go far in Los Angeles, my son.  

Brad: You’re very kind.

Me: First question: that Ultimate Tournament final had to be a blast.  And with the closed set, it must have been a uniquely shared experience.  You stay in touch with your victims?

Brad: Sure.  Ken and I email back and forth, and I gave Jerome a call now that I’m in town.  But you know as well as anybody about how people stay in touch.  It’s like almost the whole Masters group.  It’s fun for us all to get together on the east coast for the regional dinners when I’m out there.  India puts those together, those are fun.  

Me: Speaking of Ken, we’ve emailed a few times.  He seems like a pretty cool guy.  Totally has his head on straight for somebody who pulled off what he did.

Brad: No question.  Although I don’t know how he does that artistic stuff with the light pen.

Me: What’s up with that?  Who wakes up thinking, "today I’ll try out 24-point Helvetica?"

Brad: That’s almost amazing as winning 70-odd games.

Me: Me, I just try to write "Bob," and it looks like I have some kind of disorder.

Brad: Well, that’ll teach me to assume.  [Grins.]

Me: So.  [Pausing, finally catching the wicked glee in Brad

Just Over 20 Questions With Just Under 20 Champions


Since Prisoner
of Trebekistan

introduces a number of other players as eventual friends, I thought you might
enjoy knowing some of them a little better. So I sent out a little game of Twenty Questions to a few of the champs I’m
particularly fond of. (By the way, there
are a few names here you might not recognize from the book; they’re all big
winners on the show, too.)

The following are some representative responses.  I was
surprised by how often our stories are all very similar.  My thanks to
all involved for sharing their experiences, and for allowing me to
share their memories with you.

1. When did you first become a fan of the show, and when did you decide to try out?

Josh Den Hartog: My earliest Jeopardy memory is cheering fanatically
for Eric Newhouse.  See, he was from Iowa, and we were from Iowa, and
it felt good to have one of our own kick the rest of the country’s butt.

Eric Newhouse: I first became interested right around the time Chuck
Forrest came on and dominated the show like no one had before him.

Mike Rooney: When I got back from grad school and was unemployed in
L.A., I had time to sit in front of the TV.  And that’s when I first
saw Dan Melia smile that jolly smile — you know, the one that says
"look, I’m kicking ass and having fun while simultaneously
demonstrating my intellectual superiority."  So I decided to try out
shortly thereafter.

Dan Melia: As things will happen with child/spousal support and the
like, I was seriously upside-down financially for several years and
flirting with bankruptcy as a serious option.  Dara & [son] Daniel
(who was then 11) had urged me to try to get on the show, so I decided
to go down to LA and give it a shot.  When I announced that I was going
to do this, Dara said (with some irony) "So, your plan to get out of
debt is to go on a TV show and win a lot of money?"  I replied, "You
have a problem with that?"

Leslie Shannon: It got to be a family ritual that we would actually
watch Jeopardy! while eating, and eventually our dinners got to
starting right at 7:30 when the show did.

Fred Ramen: In college, people were telling me I should go on the show, but I never thought I was good enough.

Rachael Schwartz: I used to watch the old show with Art Fleming when I
was in grade school.  I would go home for lunch and watch it with my
grandmother.  Amazingly enough, as a six-year-old, I rarely knew any of
the answers.

Leslie Frates: I started watching the show in 1964, during the Art
Fleming days, when I was almost 10.  I even have a 1st edition Milton
Bradley home version of the Jeopardy game that Santa left under the
tree for me at Christmas 1964.  My parents were very accommodating of
their complete nerd daughter.

Eugene Finerman: At age 11, I found myself immersed in questions that
allowed me to test my wits against my vanity.  The onslaught of puberty
did not dilute my devotion; I was perfectly capable of thinking about
both naked cheerleaders and the Punic Wars.

Jerome Vered: I was doing a senior project at USC’s film school,
staying up and piddling around the editing rooms at all hours.  Another
student project was a documentary on the first Tournament of
Champions.  So I’m walking to my editing room and hearing clues being
given by Alex and I’m calling out the answers… The director sticks
his head out of the room and asks me if I’ve seen or heard the footage
before.  No, say I.  Then he says, "You really should try out for this
show. You’d do great."

2. How do you handle pre-show
jitters?  Any green room tendencies you’ve developed?  Chatting
with/avoiding other players?  Thinking/not thinking about the game?
 

Fred Ramen: The first time I was on I was nervous as hell. I got maybe
three or four hours of sleep the night before — pure nerves — and
wired myself up on caffeine in the green room… After the practice
game I was of course raring to go. However, Dan Melia was the returning
champ… then they called out the players for his fifth game. Not me.
Good.

Grace Veach: It’s good that the staff keep us busy with contracts and
stuff to do, or I’d probably be much more jittery.  That was the worst
thing about the day we shared with Wes in the green room — it lasted
forever!  I felt a real bond with you by the time that we’d shared that
whole day, and Wes was incredibly classy as well.

Kate Waits: For the Masters, I brought my crochet.  (I make blankets
for our local battered women’s shelter.)  I didn’t feel all that
nervous, but I kept messing up the pattern.

Leslie Frates: On my first appearance I was a nervous wreck.  When I
walked out onto the stage and saw the lights come on and Alex walk out,
my knees and hands were shaking, and my hands were so clammy they felt
like they were coated with oil from a tuna can.   After the first
break, when Alex interviews the contestants, I felt much more relaxed,
and all the nervousness just oozed out of my fingers, just like when
Novocaine wears off.  Really.

Eugene Finerman: Jitters?  Paranoia.  While in the Green Room, you will
look at your fellow contestants and imagine which of them would
slaughter you.  After all, they are real champions while you, in your
innermost thoughts, know yourself to be only a lucky charlatan.

Jerome Vered: I tend to be chatty.  Not as big a class clown as some,
but I guess I’m more effusive than many.  And bringing candy breaks the
ice.

Ben Tritle: I don’t handle pre-show jitters very well… I encountered
a horrid case of flop sweat and nearly went on stage with an
embarrassing wardrobe malfunction.

Leslie Shannon: For my first five shows, I was so terrified that I was
almost trembling with adrenaline.  But once each game started, I was
able to focus absolutely on the questions… However, for my ToC
return, I was much calmer.  In fact, too calm.  I was very aware of the
supporting role that my adrenaline rush had played in my five wins, and
I started getting worried that I wasn’t freaking out at all.  So in the
Green Room, I tried to make myself nervous.

John Den Hartog: The best advice I have for others on pre-show routine
is: don’t drink ANYTHING that day, or you will have to pee about a
BILLION times.  I learned this the hard way.  Luckily, I was able to
survive it and have been fine ever since. 

Eric Newhouse: Watch out for the coffee in the green room.  The very first time I taped I’d probably downed about half the urn.

Mike Rooney: Frequent bathroom visits.  And Power Bars.

3. How were you lucky?

Fred Ramen: in my first game, I got left off the hook by the first place contestant, and ended up a co-champ.

Leslie Shannon: In one of my tournament games, the clue was something
along the lines of: "He became governor of Louisiana in 1704 after
being the first mayor of Detroit."  Miraculously, I had just read about
this very thing while preparing for the Tournament, and so I actually
knew that the response was "Who was Cadillac?"   Otherwise I would have
had no idea.

Grace Veach: I had an important clue about Gen. George McClellan
running for president against Lincoln.  I had just been reading about
elections and thought it was unusual he would run against the man who
had promoted him.

Josh Den Hartog: I had $3500 riding on a Daily Double once.  And then
it asks some question about a gland that causes some particular
disease.  I have never heard of said disease.  Time starts to run
out… I panic, and start to say in my head, over and over…"Think of
a gland, think of a gland…"  Finally, I just spit out "What is the
thyroid?"  It was right.  Without that money, I lose the tourney going
away.  I’ve been fond of the thyroid ever since.

4. What’s your one big question that got away?

Arthur Phillips: Oh, dear God, the Oranjestad Incident.  We shall not
speak of it further.  Everlasting shame.  I can barely say the name
William of Orange without feeling nauseous.

Fred Ramen: I totally whiffed on a Sylvia Plath question despite having
had three consecutive lectures on her the previous semsester at NYU. 
Also, not being able to get in on the Quotable Coolidge categories that
I could have crushed.

Leslie Frates: In the Masters, in a Final Jeopardy to reach the finals,
they wanted President Kennedy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning book.  I knew it
instantly (Profiles in Courage), and it was the easiest FJ I ever got
in any game I played.   But I had bet puny, and lost.

Leslie Shannon: Bob Verini beat me to a question about the composer of
"Finlandia" (Sibelius, of course) in the Masters Tournament that had me
fuming — I work for Nokia, a Finnish company, and knew that my
colleagues would never forgive me!  However, later in the same game, I
got a question about the SATs, which Bob V. wished he had gotten, since
he used to work for the SAT board.

Jerome Vered: I was playing against Frank Spangenberg and Pam
Mueller… up comes the category "Rossini Operas."  The last one was
about an opera involving the Venetian army.  I ring in immediately, and
then — too fast, too fast — blurt out "Daughter Of The Regiment." 
And I blanch immediately.  I know that was by Donizetti.  I know I’m
f’ed.  Out comes the correct response — "Otello."  I am so pissed.  I
own only one opera on audio cassette.  One.  That opera?  Rossini’s
"Otello."

Kim Worth: Elijah! But I must say; if you’re going to miss a clue, miss
one you could never answer. There’s none of that lying awake in bed
thinking, "I KNEW that!"  No, this was more like stepping off the curb
and getting hit by a cement truck. Fast, quick and painless.

Mike Rooney:  !@#$ing "Crete" Garfield.  And before that, I was bounced
from the 2000 ToC on another FJ, asking for the advisor of Odysseus’s
son, who was of course named Mentor.  I knew what they wanted there,
but drew a hugely frustrating blank.  A few weeks ago, I saw a
biography of James Garfield at the bookstore.  So I flip to the index
and the first reference to Lucretia "Crete" Garfield not only mentions
her nickname but also the fact that before being elected to the
Presidency, the Garfields made their home in… Mentor, Ohio.  And now
you, Bob, who are from Mentor, Ohio, are asking me this.  You bastard.

5. What question did you pull the furthest out of your nether regions?  And how did you get to the answer?

Arthur Phillips: I’ve never seen "The Last Picture Show" and did not
know it was the film that Cybill Shepherd debuted in, so how did I know
from a random video clip that that’s what the movie was?  When you’re
on, you’re on, and knowledge apparently is sent to you from the cosmos.

Leslie Frates: A "Before & After" question, something like "the
dueling vice-president who became the puppeteer who worked with Kukla,
Fran and Ollie."  I remembered once seeing a grainy photo of Kukla,
Fran and Ollie standing next to their creator, Burr Tillstrom.  It hit
me so fast that on the tape my body physically jerks before I ring in: 
"Who is Aaron Burr Tillstrom?".  I’m mighty proud of that one, mighty
proud.

Eugene Finerman: In my second game, I actually was trailing as we went
into Final Jeopardy.  The clue was

Prisoner of Trebekistan: the index

The following is the actual, complete index of Prisoner of Trebekistan.

Eventually, I’ll probably do a reading of some bits of this over some cool tiki lounge music or possibly a soaring heavy-metal power ballad.  I have no idea why.  It just sounds funny.

A Clockwork Orange, 137

Adams, Abigail, combustibility of, 174

Adrenaline, 22, 44, 120, 164, 188, 276, 316

Allen, Woody, 46

Anchoring, 121-22, 124

Asia Minor, 133, 281, 309-310

Baboons, wild, chased by, 196, 273, 276-77

Badgers, ravenous, 124, 128

Bailey, Alan, 291-92

Barker, Craig, 148

Bate, Jeremy, 244, 266, 267, 272

Batman, 35

Bauhaus, 183

Beals, Jennifer, 184

Bell, Alexander Graham, unaware of bed construction, 206, 311

Berkeley, University of California at, 5, 21, 107, 147, 178, 237, 239

Berman, Steve, 303, 321

Bhutan, 4, 240-241, 272, 284, 286, 328

Bioluminescence, 116, 141, 264

Boleyn, Anne, self-portraits of, 39-40

Bones, rearranged surgically, 73, 302, 322

Bonobo chimpanzees, best form of hello ever, 197

Book of Common Prayer, 201, 325

Boone, Daniel, 68

Boong, not buzz or ring, 20

Borchardt, Bruce, 303-04, 307-08, 313-15, 317-19, 321

Borg, the, 118, 162

Brain-freeze, 24

Burnett, Carol, 218

Butterworth, Mrs., 118, 198, 203, 273

Camaros, "his & hers," 127, 129, 132, 142, 197-98, 291

Cameron, Burns, 14

Carroll, Lewis, 67, 102-03, 311-12, 317-20

Carroll, Robin, 16, 236, 245, 264-65, 273, 288

Cement, connected to chickens, 59

Cher, 226

Chernicoff, Steve, 303-04, 320

Chickasaw Indians, link to Elvis Presley’s sex life, 96

Cholinesterase inhibitors, 62, 64

Chumash Indians, 215

Cleveland sports teams, futility of, 9, 173-74, 190-92, 228

Clue Crew, living in van and fighting crime, 16

Coconuts, lovely bunch of, 12, 17, 327

Codpiece, armored, 6

Cognitive dissonance, 83

Concordance of the Bible, 69, 103, 136, 201

Coppola, Francis Ford, 325

Cooper, India, 244, 266, 289, 303-04

Corpses, dancing in cheese, 183

Costner, Kevin, on his knees, 110

Cover Girl, in a blowhole, 25

Cubbage, Tom, 289, 292-301, 309

Cuthbertson, John, 320

Damnation, eternal, 68

Daunt, Michael, 6, 16, 289, 303-04, 307-08, 311-20, 322

Day, Doris, blown to bits, 103

Dead guy, body of, used to signal the cops, 20

Dead Man Walking, 39, 149

DeGeneres, Ellen, 108

Den Hartog, Josh, 148

Depp, Johnny, 184

de Vere, Edward, seventeenth Earl of Oxford, 16, 60, 102-103, 269-70, 300

Die Hard, 20

Dotto, 12

Douglas, Michael, 307

Dracula, 326

Drug lords, Colombian, 75

Dwarf, kickboxing, used to memorize U.N. Secretaries-General, 97

Ebola, 159

Ecuador, place to flee to, 39, 76

Eightfold Path to Enlightened Jeopardy, 25, 28, 29, 38-39, 48-49, 60, 84, 109, 113, 124-25, 145, 151, 155-56, 171, 185, 239, 246, 293-94, 298

Einstein, Albert, 50, 136

Ephesians, disappointing relationship with, 55

Epstein, Frank, 293-95, 297-300

Erythema nodosum, 185-86, 254

Ethic of reciprocity, 200

Ettinger, Bob, 246

Fairy penguins, 284-86, 295

Farrell, Will, 15

Fight Club, 80, 195

Fillmore, Millard goddam, 23, 24, 28-29, 95, 192, 235

Flanders, Ned, cuckolded, 34

Fleming, Art, 13, 14

Flowers For Algernon, basis for film Charly, 215

Forearm, correct amount of, 75, 275

Ford, Harrison, 278, 307

Forrest, Chuck 6, 73-74, 85-87, 99-100, 103, 110-111, 116, 118, 123, 207, 236-37, 244, 264-67, 272, 288, 291, 301, 328

"Forrest Bounce," 6, 73, 85, 87, 149, 187

Forster, E. M., 89, 92

Fosse, Bob, 233

Frates, Leslie, 244, 264-66, 273, 289, 291-92

Freeman, Morgan, voice of, 5, 327

Friedman, Harry, 247, 248, 327

Fuel, discharged from shuttlecraft, 20

Game Show Congress, 220-21, 290

Gandhi, Mohandis K., 136, 157, 200

Gangs, dancing, in New York, 122, 271

Garfield, James, 205-06, 310-11

Garland, Judy, 168, 327

Gilbert, J.H. Company of Willoughby, Ohio, 56, 60-61, 63, 66, 70, 71, 74, 209

Gilbert, Johnny, 7, 14, 31, 152, 198, 234, 250, 292

Gilligan’s Island, 70

Gillispie, Scott 303-04

Glucocorticoids, stress response, 120, 254, 270

Goatskin, bloodstained, 80, 290, 303

Gödel, Kurt, 135, 150

"Go Lights," 35, 40, 50, 157, 161, 179-82, 245, 268, 269, 272, 307-08, 314

Graham, Heather, 214

Grant’s Tomb, 309

Grape jelly, your brain becoming, 48

Greed, 218-19, 221

Griffin, Julann, 11-12, 17

Griffin, Merv, 11-14, 16-18, 155, 158, 317; owns one-third of earth’s crust, 17; reincarnated, 114; keeper of ancient wisdom 114, 327

Gropius, Walter, 183

Gutowski, Paul 148

Hagia Sophia, 281

HAL computer, 244

Hale, Kyle, 303

Halicarnassus (Bodrum), 309-10

Harvard University, 5, 50, 147

Hats, red, various, 69, 241, 285, 322

Havel, Vaclav, 283

Hellman, Dara, 239, 321-23, 324-27

Heston, Charlton, 308

Hiawatha, eight-ton, fifty-foot-tall statue of, 11-13, 17, 145

High Rollers, 72

Hindenburg, the, 39

Hoffa, Jimmy, 313

Hopkins, Anthony, 115, 141, 193, 269, 310

Houdini, Harry, 43, 169

Howards End, 90-92; re-imagined as thirty-foot buttocks, 91-93, 317; actual end of a real guy named Howard, 219-20

"Incunabula," meaningless syllables, 189

Internal Revenue Service, 180

Ironwood, Michigan, 11, 14, 18, 325

Isolation booths, 12

Jackson, Andrew, owed a beer, 308

Jaws of Life, 18

Jell-O shooters, 137

Jennings, Ken 6, 9, 16, 94, 287-89, 295, 304; not giving a spongebath, 94; as Japanese monster movie, 287; penmanship of, 287-88; possible explosion of, 288

Jesus, 200, 281, 295

Jeopardy Mansion, lush, 152

Jeopardy Weapon, 21, 48, 112, 202, 257, 268, 293-94, 315

Jiu-jitsu, 107

Johnson, Kim "Howard," 219-20, 285

Jones, Inigo, 183

Kagan, Glenn, 45, 109, 118, 119, 127, 128, 158, 176, 246, 327

Kampala, Uganda, confused with Kigali, Rwanda, 259

Kazakhstan, many sheep of, 48

Keisters, various sizes, 11, 133, 219

Keller, Helen, 136

Kennedy, George, lack of bad breath, 115

Kenobi, Obi-Wan, 245

Kent, Clark, 22, 47

Kevlar, use by public school teachers, 81

Khan al-Khalili, both the novel and the souq, 314

King World Productions, 14

Knesset, different from Althing, 139, 265

Knickers, rubber, 57

Knutsen, Rick, 303-04, 321

Kung Fu Grip, realistic 21

"Lake effect" snow, 11, 61

Lauderdale, John, 29, 250, 305

Library of Alexandria, 69

Lincoln, Abraham, 19, 23, 137, 178, 190, 192

Lint rollers, 88

Lohan, Lindsay, 214

Lord of the Flies, 70, 128

Loud, Grant, 45, 109, 119, 128, 158, 176, 246, 327

Lowenthal, Mark, 85, 301

Luminiferous ether, 135

Luxor casino, as trans-millennial Dada masterpiece, 245

Mackenzie, Bob and Doug, 182

Mahfouz, Naguib, 314

"Manamana" song, applied to linguistic morphology, 225

Mandela, Nelson 283

Mann, Matt 22-23, 30, 43, 47, 56, 105, 107, 115, 150

Market research, completely useless, 13, 14, 15

Matrix, The, 300, 314

McCullers, Carson 184

McGuire, Jimmy, 314

McKellen, Ian, 270, 300

Melia, Dan, 68, 147, 157, 160, 162, 176, 177-79, 181-85, 187-90, 193, 201-02, 206, 210, 212, 215-16, 234-35, 237, 239, 247, 248, 268, 273, 288, 290, 301, 303-04, 307, 319-20, 321-23, 324-27

Miami Vice, 75

Miller, Arthur, 136

Miller, Chris, 320

Monkeywrenchfish, 189

Moo, 159

Mosquitoes, size of lawn darts, 18; bird-eating, 61; fighting with bare hands, 62; unlike any I remembered, 208

Mouse deer, 277

Mueller, Pam, 320

Muppets, The, 225

Neutron, Jimmy, 56

Newhouse, Eric, 244, 264-65, 267-72, 288, 289, 303, 307, 321

Norwegians, cruel, 83

Nugent, Ted, 186

"One-to-ones," 238, 299, 314

Oooh, the, 114, 152-53, 155, 156, 157, 193, 212, 217, 319

One-True-Eternal-Soulmates