Author Archives: Bob

Some Contestants Also Receive…

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Reposted: what happens after you play your first nine games of Jeopardy!, shot in my tiny apartment shortly after the 1998 Tournament of Champions.

I was under the false impression that the lifetime supplies! had stopped.  This Google video actually
only covers a little more than half of the ultimate haul of lozenges, home games, emollients, and cleansers.For YouTube loyalists, here’s that version:

It took me a while to figure out something good to do with roughly a bathtubful of Mrs. Butterworths.

You’ll have to read chapter 16 of the new book to find out what it was.

Prisoner of Trebekistan: the Table of Contents

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Here’s the actual Table of Contents for Prisoner of Trebekistan, sans page numbers, which I couldn’t figure out how to format neatly here.

Like the index, this may eventually get a musical treatment, maybe over some Al Jarreau-style scat singing or maybe a reggae thing.  Why?  I have no idea.  Just seems amusing.

Chapter One : Why Alex May Not Have A Physical Body

Also, Choosing The Correct Millisecond

Chapter Two: A Complete Inability To Learn From Failure

Also, Incompetence, Ignorance, and Clumsiness

Chapter Three: The Thing That Came From Merv’s Dining Room

Also, A Hiawatha Much Bigger Than Yours

Chapter Four:  Close Your Eyes, Breathe Deeply, And Scream

Also, I Discover More In My Head Than Just Knowledge

   
Chapter Five:  Halloween Comes Suddenly

Also, Scandalous Thoughts About Ned Flanders’s Wife

Chapter Six: Thinking Ahead While Not Thinking At All

Also, Safety Instructions For Your Jeopardy Weapon

Chapter Seven: How Everything Is Connected

Also, Twenty-One Interesting Uses For Rubber

Chapter Eight: Evening Falls

Also, A Fifty-Foot Wall In My Head

Chapter Nine: Fun With Howards End

Also, I Kick William Shakespeare’s Ass

Chapter Ten: The Longest Day

Also, I Am Attacked By Ravenous Badgers

Chapter Eleven: The War Comes Home

Also, Detaching My Althing From My Knesset

Chapter Twelve: Jeopardy Fever

Also, I Am Ambushed By The Bishop Of Hippo

Chapter Thirteen: Facing The Think Music

Also, Strangers Seize Me By The Udder And Yank

Chapter Fourteen: We’re Malaysia-Bound

Also, Why People Are Looking At Me Funny In This Coffee Shop

Chapter Fifteen: A Hail Mary For Anthony Hopkins

Also, Fishing Up The Urethra

Chapter Sixteen: Things To Do On Jeopardy When You’re Dead

Also, Private Moments With Mrs. Butterworth

Chapter Seventeen: A Pep Talk From President Garfield

Also, What I Bought From The J.H. Gilbert Co. Of Willoughby, Ohio

Chapter Eighteen: Greed, A Quick Smush, And A Shameful Little Booby

Also, I Help With Another Howard’s End

Chapter Nineteen: Jane

Also, Jane

Chapter Twenty: The Importance of Memory In Recovery

Also, A Brief Look At Estonian Revolutionary Movements

Chapter Twenty-One: My Life As A Rockette

Also, Why I Have An Ancient Civilization In My Pants

Chapter Twenty-Two: Attack Of The Pudu

Also, I Get Lost In Africa, And Not For the Last Time

Chapter Twenty-Three: Love, Kindness, And An Old Chicken Sandwich

Also, Why Penguins Throw Up Down Under

Chapter Twenty-Four: The Ultimate Tournament

Also, I Swear Off the Weapon

Chapter Twenty-Five: Not Quite Letting Go Of Outcome

Also, A Massive Explosion Caught Live On Videotape

Chapter Twenty-Six: Where All Knowledge Is Kept

Also, Eleven More Sentences That Are Actually True

Messing with Dancing With The Stars: Is Nothing Sacred?

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Tom Delay, the House Majority Leader forced to resign his post in the wake of his indictment for campaign finance violations, has a new cause, apparently vital to the protection of America for real Americans — cheering for Jerry Springer’s opponent on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars:

One of [Republican singer Sara Evans’] opponents on the show is ultra liberal talk show host Jerry Springer. We need to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television…

Ballroom dancing: the first line of American defense.

Messing with Dancing With The Stars: Is Nothing Sacred?

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Tom Delay, the House Majority Leader forced to resign his post in the wake of his indictment for campaign finance violations, has a new cause, apparently vital to the protection of America for real Americans — cheering for Jerry Springer’s opponent on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars:

One of [Republican singer Sara Evans’] opponents on the show is ultra liberal talk show host Jerry Springer. We need to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television…

Ballroom dancing: the first line of American defense.

Now available!

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Prisoner of Trebekistan is now an actual book, complete with a dust jacket and hard covers and hundreds of gen-u-ine pages in between.  Neat.

Trebekistan.com is now open, too, with the first pile of what will soon be a large chunk of stuff — videos (more coming soon), the book’s loopy index, a growing series of extra tidbits organized by page, chats with some great players who share their own fun experiences, and more.

(Incidentally, the actual URL is a long string of code.  Ignore that.  Trebekistan.com will always redirect you to the right spot.)

You’ll even find a set of particularly useful (I think so,
anyway) Travel Links there, if you’d like to get all excited and start
running happily around the planet more, too.

Enjoy your visit!  But please don’t feed the baboons.